Reflecting on Camden

April 19, 2011 — Leave a comment

As I’ve been with my family through the ordeal with Camden, there have been a few thoughts that have really struck me. In no particular order, here they are:

-I learned what it is like to beg God…really beg, like I’m desperate for you to do SOMETHING beg. I’ve fervently prayed many times, but I’m not sure I’ve ever gone through a cycle of desperation, resignation, hope, desperation, resignation, hope so many times. It resulted in me simply praying a repetitive prayer to God…I almost felt like a whiny child, and it was good for my soul.
-I learned to be thankful to God for the simple act of peeing. For Camden, this was a major problem for the first 48 hours, and we were overjoyed when he finally did. I’ve never really even considered how relieving myself is a gift of God’s grace. Funny, even a bit gross, but true nonetheless. Even the seemingly banal things of out lives are capable of bringing thankfulness and glory to God.
-I was reminded of the power of a praying community, and blessed by the saints of God both in Austin and all over. I was also reminded that those who don’t love Jesus often have more compassion than those who do…neither compare to the compassion and mercy of the heavenly Father though.
-God is faithful and mighty to save, even when we doubt Him.
-There are untold reasons for everything, but I was grateful to see how this difficult situation was used to catalyze great faith in many, though it was a costly way for the Lord to do it. Only an eternal perspective can make sense of temporal suffering.

Todd Engstrom

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Although I was raised in the church and had a knowledge of God, I didn’t embrace Jesus until I heard gospel preached and lived out by some Young Life leaders. God has proven faithful and good to me since that day, even in great suffering and loss. I have learned to treasure Romans 8:28 as a wellspring of hope and truth. God has blessed me with an amazing wife (Olivia), three sons (Micah, Hudson and Owen) and a daughter (Emmaline). Growing up in the northwest, the thought never crossed my mind that I would have four children who are native Texans. Despite landing in the south, I still watch Notre Dame games with my children every Saturday in hopes they will land at my alma mater.

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