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books christianity

New Ebook from Ben Reed

StartingSmall Cover

Recently my friend Ben Reed released a short book on small groups called “The Ultimate Small Group Blueprint”.  Ben is the small groups pastor at Long Hollow, a multi-site church in the Nashville, TN area. He’s been a good friend and has challenged my thinking. I had the chance to ask him a few questions about the book, and below are his answers.  You can get it on Amazon here. 

Who is the primary audience for the book?

The primary audience for my book is the person who wants to help his/her small group grow, and help people take steps of faith. I think small group leaders, small group pastors, lead pastors, education directors, and small group coaches would benefit from it.
But it would also be a resource that a potential leader/apprentice could read and (hopefully) find helpful.

If you had to sum up the book in 2 sentences, what would they be?

Healthy, biblical, authentic community has significantly marked my faith journey to the point that I want to help create pockets of these communities everywhere. And I don’t want to just help create them…I want them to be sustained for the long haul, creating disciples that create disciples.

With respect to the volumes of small group literature available, what makes this book unique?

This book is intended to be read by a wider audience than just guys and gals who live and breathe small group life. I’ve kept it intentionally short…it’s just 70 pages…so that it can be consumed in shorter periods of time, and the principles I discuss more quickly implemented. 

I’ve written from my experience of leading at the small group level and at the ministry-wide church level. I’ve seen small groups thrive…and wither. Through sharing my story, I hope to propel the former in cities around the world.

I loved the simple statement “party monthly” as a small group.  What helped you form that idea?

We have rhythms in so many others of life. At work. At home. With our hobbies. With our free time. Rhythms are the result of well-worn disciplines.

So I like to help groups start off developing a rhythm that promotes growth. 

We gather weekly and party monthly.  Because, well, for one, Jesus followers tend to be pretty boring people. Which is not reflective of the beautiful God we serve! I love what the Psalmist says:

Then our mouth was filled with laughter,    and our tongue with shouts of joy;then they said among the nations,    “The Lord has done great things for them.”3 The Lord has done great things for us;    we are glad. – Psalm 126:2-3

When our mouths are filled with laughter, others are convinced that God has done great things among us. And the flip-side must also be true. If our mouths aren’t filled with laughter, people become convinced that the God we serve isn’t good. That he doesn’t take delight in loving is people. That the God we proclaim as King is ultimately boring, and eternity will be a dull, lifeless “existence.” That’s not the story I want to tell.

So “partying monthly” is a vital rhythm of small group life.I’m an advocate for missional communities.  

What do you wish you had included in the book?

Actually, there was a lot I wish I included. Which is why I wrote the bonus section. Just head over to SmallGroupBluePrint.com, and fill out the form, and we’ll send it on over to you. I’ve included some small group sign-up cards you can customize, the sermon-based curriculum that we use (that is also customizable), and some extra stuff that I didn’t have room for in the book.  I’m excited to be giving that stuff away!

If you have any questions for Ben, he’ll be tracking them in the comments!

Categories
faq missional community

Where Do We Do Third Place?

Recently I was asked:

As I am trying to lead our small groups toward missional communities, my people are starting to get the concept of third place.  One thing that would be really helpful is if you could give examples of what several different missional communities do in terms of 3rd place, frequency of different types of meetings, etc. I know each group needs to establish their own rhythms, but I think I and my people would be helped to see several practical examples to prime the pump of their imaginations.

Here’s some ideas to consider as you’re thinking through Third Place!

Suburban Missional Community, Multiple Ages of Kids

In my own neighborhood, we’ve had a few different iterations of Third Places.  Our first was called “Kenny’s Coffee”, a local coffee shop that served breakfast and coffee.  We would gather every Friday morning with a few friends, and ended up connecting with a number of different families through this.  Early on, it was mostly moms and young children who would gather there, but slowly over time a few other dads would join in as well.

Next, we intentionally joined a soccer team at the YMCA with two other families, and then filled out the rest of the team with random folks from our area.  This afforded us regular gathering times with families with kids of the same age, and ended up producing some really incredible fruit with a single mother needing some help with her daughter.

For young moms, my wife would regularly schedule a park play date with multiple moms and kids, which created some very healthy relationships and intentional time to talk since the kids were more occupied with something to do.  

When we started to have kids in school, we’ve been working on routinely gathering at school PTA functions with our community and extended friends to be a “good news” people at our elementary.  While it’s not quite as regular as some others, it has also opened up all kinds of new relationships with people.

Finally, our front yard is an excellent Third Place.  We’ve tried to intentionally and regularly invite our Christian friends and non-Christian neighbors to our home on Friday evenings in the summer and Sunday afternoons in the fall and spring.  These times have worked well for regular overlap of our friend groups.

Urban Missional Community, Young Singles and Marrieds

For some of our younger MCs that are in the urban core of Austin, several different kinds of Third Places have proven effective over time.  First is very simply a regular happy hour on a Thursday or Friday evening.  Most of our young folks have a social network that is built around their workplace, and so they are intentionally spending time inviting coworkers out after the day is done.  

Another fun one that some friends have tried is Trivia Night.  Several local pubs have regular trivia nights that draw a great crowd, and it’s usually a pretty easy ask for anyone to come join in the fun.

Activity-based groups are also excellent Third Place environments.  We’ve had a missional community intentionally join a running group downtown that would train together.  Although I’m a horrible conversationalist while running because I’m breathing so hard, for those in a little better shape it proved to be fruitful!

Regular game watches for a particular team have also been fruitful – most fans in Texas are going to cheer for UT or Texas A&M, so during the fall football season, MCs have strategically hosted game watches and tailgates.

Seasoned Missional Communities

For some of our more “seasoned” folks at The Stone (high-school aged kids or empty nesters), I’ve seen one of two things work.  For families with high schoolers, doing a Third Place geared around their kids has been a very effective strategy.  This has taken a couple different forms – regular involvement in a high school based ministry like Young Life, or consistent connection with an activity the student is involved in.  Most parents in that life stage have solid friendships, but still are eager to connect and know their kids friends, so the best MCs have taken advantage of that.

For those without children, the flexible lifestyle that is afforded is a double-edged sword.  On the one hand, the flexibility means you have some freedom and time to pursue Third Place in a variety of ways.  On the other hand, people with children post-high school often lose the primary place people in their life stage gather.  I encourage these kinds of missional communities to focus on being a “regular” in a particular place – a coffee shop, a restaurant, or some other establishment.  We haven’t had too many of these communities, so I’m lacking in examples…chime in the comments and share what you’re doing!

Conclusion

Third Place is a muscle that needs to be worked out slowly over time, and creatively approached.  One of the most important things I coach people on is to not quit – these kinds of environments take consistent invitation over time in order to help you pursue mission well.

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discipleship leadership

The Triperspectival Content of Biblical Leadership

Recently, I had a seminary assignment to write out a personal philosophy of leadership.  The process of clarifying and writing my thoughts was very helpful for me, and I thought I would share it as a series here on the blog.

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The Tri-Perspectival Content of Biblical Leadership

Once a leader has listened to where an individual is, the next step is communicating where Jesus wants the person to go in a gracious yet challenging way.  Leadership is helping to provide doctrinal and biblical content, processing through the appetites and affections of the heart, and then tangibly giving steps of obedience forward to an individual or organization.  The primary role of a leader is that of a teacher, of a shepherd, and of a coach – leaders instruct in doctrine, help form character, and give practical wisdom to foster action.

Equipping the Whole Person

Primarily, the task of the biblical leader who has an understanding of the individual is to equip the whole person—their head, heart and hands.  The biblical leaders adopts the role of teacher in communicating the truths of God’s word, of shepherd in helping a person understand the affections and emotions of the heart, and coach in providing practical steps toward obedience to Jesus.  Biblical leadership does not simply content itself with singular attention toward one particular role, but seeks to be faithful to lead through all the faculties of a human.

Ephesians 4, verses 14 through 20 offer a compelling vision of Paul’s desire for the Ephesian church being rooted in the Trinitarian God.  The words he uses to exhort the church involve “being strengthened in Spirit in the inner man”, Christ “dwell[ing] in your hearts through faith”, “strength to comprehend…and know the love of Christ” and that would ultimately produce God’s greater glory.  Paul has a great understanding that humanity is composed of several faculties, and biblical leadership involves leading in all facets.  These faculties are often summarized tri-perspectivally as “head, heart and hands”.

Instructing the Head

“Head” knowledge is rooted primarily in the intellect. This is the type of knowledge that is associated with recalling facts, doctrine, and teaching. Head learners typically have a love for Scripture or knowledge and are able to affirm truths based on propositions or argumentation.  Doctrine rooted in the Word of God is the primary content of biblical leadership, as it is “breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV)

Shepherding the Heart

“Heart” knowledge is rooted primarily in the desire, will, or emotions. This is the type of knowledge that is often associated with shepherding, character, or relational care. Heart learners are often guided by feelings and are typically wonderful at shepherding the souls of those who are under their care. Things like worship environments make them feel closer to God and whenever they read the Scriptures, they typically are attracted to verses that speak of positive things, with more difficult truths being bypassed.  To simply teach something as true ignores that most decisions of a human are driven by desire, not simply by reason.  The biblical leader helps a person to understand what drives their affections, both positively and negatively, and thereby cultivates strong character rooted in sound doctrine.

Coaching the Hands

“Hands” knowledge is rooted primarily in action, or tasks. This is the type of knowledge that would most closely be related to coaching, skills, or assessment. It is the application of the knowledge from the head and the heart toward actually seeing change. Where Head and Heart learners simply feel or think about doing things, Hands learners actually execute them.  The role of a biblical leader is to not only teach the mind and shepherd the heart, but to equip and hold accountable to active obedience.

Conclusion

Biblical leadership recognizes that different situations demand different modes of leadership, and ultimately that obedience, affection and intellect are intricately interwoven.  Every leader has a bent towards one particular faculty, but the biblical leader values and understands all three faculties, employing them as Christ did throughout His earthly ministry.

Ultimately, discipleship and leadership is not simply meeting once a week over breakfast to have Bible study or calling the shots for an organization. Rather, discipleship and leadership is continually pointing the disciple to Christ in variety of contexts, situations, and locales with the hope of seeing them be turned more into the likeness of Christ over time. If your discipleship and leadership is not happening in a variety of contexts and various kinds of conversations, you’re not biblically leading.

Categories
discipleship leadership

Meeting People Where They Are

Recently, I had a seminary assignment to write out a personal philosophy of leadership.  The process of clarifying and writing my thoughts was very helpful for me, and I thought I would share it as a series here on the blog.

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Meeting People Where They Are

The apostle Paul writing to the Ephesian church speaks to this holistic aspect of discipleship. He writes:

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16)

The goal of each and every believer is to serve and lead in such a way that the body of Christ builds itself up in love. If that’s the goal, then the proper working of each part is needed and thus each individual must grow up into him who is the head. Simply put, the more each of us looks like Jesus then the more the body of Christ will grow.

Understanding with clarity where Jesus desires the follower to go provides a clear vision for the forward-looking direction of the leader.  The other half of the task of leadership is to understand where an individual or an organization is.  Casting a compelling vision for a Christ-exalting life is part of leadership, but understanding how best to communicate God’s word into individual and corporate circumstances with persistence, persuasion and precision is what distinguishes a visionary from a biblical leader.

An Example from the Life of Jesus

No better example can be found than in the life of Jesus.  In John 4, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman who is drawing water.  In this instance, Jesus recognizes the woman’s marital situation (“you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband”).  He sees where she is, her sin, and knows exactly what to say in order to move her to where she needs to be.  He utilizes her circumstances of desiring water to help her understand the motivations of her heart, and pointing to her ultimate need for a savior.  Ending the conversation with the revelation that he is the messiah, Jesus clearly meets the woman where she is and points her towards where He wants her to go.

Seeking Understanding of the Person

In our current church culture, there is a tendency towards proclamation and systems building as the primary means of leadership.  Both of those tools are incredibly helpful and necessary for organizational leadership, but often those systems can only accomplish a portion of the task of discipleship and leadership.  There are two primary deficiencies with this kind of leadership.  First, in order for preaching to remain sufficiently broad to attract an audience, the content is generalized to a wide audience, which requires the individual to have the motivation to respond to the message and work out implications on their own.  Second, with respect to systems, they are often constructed inside of the current culture as a response to a problem, and therefore most often are syncretistic with culture rather than challenging the existing idolatries.

Most churches rely on small groups to combat the idolatry of individualism and challenge their communities to radical generosity to counteract materialism.  At the heart of most church systems, however, consumerism is left systemically unchallenged, providing a service where the individual church attender is merely coming to an event to receive some benefit from it.  Systemic leadership must be willing to meet people where they are, but move them towards biblical fidelity and challenge the predominant idolatry of a culture.

In the same way, leading people on a personal level must involve hearing their individual story, understanding their worldview, and engaging persuasively through building bridges to a gospel-centered, word-centered way of life.  In our current American culture, biblical leadership requires an understanding of individualism (our propensity to view ourselves as autonomous units), materialism (our proclivity to find meaning and value in the accumulation of things) and consumerism (our hearts desire is driven by what we can receive from something or someone).  These idolatries are the common world-view of most American individuals, and therefore are also pervasive inside of organizations composed of these kinds of people.

Categories
faq missional community

Multiple Third Place Environments

Faq green

Recently I received the following question on Third Place:

We planted our church in ’07. Currently, our Gospel Communities meet for a meal together and Bible discussion twice a month (every other week), and people meet in tripods (LTG’s) the other two weeks.

While our GC’s have certainly done “Third Place” gatherings, that is not something we have implemented into our DNA like the other two gatherings. Our GC’s are a diverse mix of college students, recent grads, young marrieds, and families with young kids. Finding a third space that is natural and regular for this group is difficult. I’d love any feedback you could give me on implementing a third place into GC’s where life rhythms are wide and diverse.

I’ve actually had a number of people ask this question, so I thought I would post a response.

First, I think this question is so often asked because we primarily conceive of community as an event we attend rather than relationships we have. By and large, the three kinds of gatherings are meant to serve the relationships you have by creating intentionality in what you are gathering for.

You don’t need to have everyone at every gathering all the time! In fact, I think you’ll be far more successful if you don’t have everyone all the time.  We’ve had a number of missional communities who bring 12 people to a particular location, only to have one other friend who doesn’t yet know Jesus join.  That’s a difficult social setting for anyone to walk into!

I’d highly recommend that you work on having multiple different “Third Places” for each Gospel Community. When you have a great diversity of people, focus on having a couple different places where two’s, three’s and four’s of people can gather and invite people they know that don’t know Jesus to spend time with them.

The place or the event is less important than intentionally creating overlap between your community and people who don’t know Christ.

What would you add?