Together for Adoption Conference
Posted by Todd Engstrom in adoption on September 30, 2009
I’m headed out tomorrow to make the trek to Franklin, TN for the Together for Adoption conference. I’m really looking forward to spending time with some of our TASCC staff processing through God’s movement in our hearts for adoption, as well as connecting with some new friends in the adoption world.
Please keep us in prayer, and you can see what we are hearing at the schedule below:
Forgiveness in Marriage and The Gospel
Posted by Todd Engstrom in marriage on September 28, 2009
I spent a considerable amount of time in our Nearly/Newly Wed class this Sunday laying the Scriptural foundation of marriage in class in order to demonstrate that the purpose of marriage, as Paul highlights in Ephesians 5:31-32, is to demonstrate Christ and His glory to the world.
One implication of thinking about marriage this way is that if we fail in marriage, we preach a false gospel and become a heretic. If the calling of marriage is viewed so highly by God, then how can we possibly hope to live up to this? The answer I proposed is only by the power of the Gospel through the grace of God can we ever hope to live up to our calling in marriage.
I posted some thoughts for the “Nearly” crowd on the gospel and considering marriage yesterday, and I wanted to work through one more point today about the gospel applied in marriage. This is a pseudo-repost of an idea that I had the last time I taught, but I thought I’d expand on it a little more.
For those that have been married for any length of time, forgiveness is something you end up doing a lot of. There are a ton of benefits of forgiveness: restoration of relationship, moving past awkward tension, finally communicating after some time of silence after an argument…the list could go on. Everyone, for the most part, knows that they ought to forgive in marriage, and usually it’s a matter of time before forgiveness is extended from the injured party.
As I have been thinking on the Gospel in marriage, however, I’m realizing that forgiveness for me is often done out of an “I ought to do this” mentality, rather than reminding me of the depth of my depravity and the forgiveness of the Gospel. To be more clear, I think I tend to forgive and forget, without ever even considering the power and depth of the Gospel.
Forgiveness has often become an assumed, automatic response in order to minimize a particular instance of sin in my relationship. It is not gospel driven response that causes me to reflect on my own depravity, understand the depth of God’s mercy, and ultimately stir my affections for Christ and my love for my wife.
The question then becomes, “how can I remove myself from a cycle of mechanical obedience to a Godly principle and move toward a deep understanding of the grace of God and His gospel in my marriage?” I think the answer is by practicing the discipline of tying forgiveness back to Christ’s forgiveness of us. Each time I forgive my wife, am I going back to the cross, looking at the forgiveness that was extended to me, and then forgiving my wife out of the power of forgiveness that Christ has? Or instead, do I rob the cross of its power and extend forgiveness in my flesh only to cover over the momentary sin?
One response deals with the surface issue and placates ourselves and covers over a sin. The other response leads to a deep understanding mercy and grace in the gospel. Pray this Gospel-driven thinking would work in our marriages!
For Those Considering Marriage – The Freedom of the Gospel
Posted by Todd Engstrom in marriage on September 27, 2009
I’ve been preparing some teaching for our Nearly/Newly Wed class at The Austin Stone, and thinking on the gospel and its implications in our marriages. Here are some of the thoughts I have for couples considering marriage:
Trusting the good news of Jesus and his work on your behalf frees you from:
- Getting married because of a mistake you made in the past, because Jesus atones for sin, not you.
- Getting married because you feel trapped in a relationship, because freedom is found in Christ, and you have nothing to fear.
- Getting married because you just can’t wait to have sex, because the gospel has set you free from the lusts of the flesh, and the power of the gospel is sufficient in your weakness.
- Getting married because you are lonely, because Christ promises that He is always with us, and we can believe His promise.
Feel free to contribute to this list in the comments section…
Lessons Learned in Fatherhood
Posted by Todd Engstrom in personal on September 25, 2009
We’ve had a pretty rough week in our house this week, most notably because our oldest son came down with croup. The first night, we slept in shifts as our son continued to wake up terrified and having difficulty breathing. After a trip to the doctor, we thought we had the problem solved with a few doses of a mild steroid. We couldn’t have been more wrong…
It turns out that some small children have experience adverse effects when on steroids, and our little man basically broke out into a series of what we can only call “roid rage” fits. For the last three days, he has been inconsolable for hours on end, aggressive, irritable, and completely out of character from the sweet boy that we have parented.
I’ll recount last night for you:
- Wakes up whining at 5 am.
- Throws a fit because he wants to sleep on the couch.
- Take him to the couch, continues to throw a fit because he wants to sleep in our bed.
- He proceeds to kick and hit me, and I have to restrain him for the next 45 minutes.
Why do I recount the story? Because in parenting my son through last night, I learned something very poignant about the nature of fatherhood, and about God’s relationship with me during some rough times.
Here is how my son’s objections went while I was trying to calm him down and keep him from hurting himself and me (so you don’t think I’m a terrible parent, I was simply firmly holding him to my chest so he couldn’t thrash around…no physical harm came to my child):
- “I want to go sleep in the bed daddy, I want that daddy”
- “I want mommy…I want mommy”
- “I want down daddy…let me go daddy”
- “You’re hurting me daddy”
- “Why won’t you talk to me daddy?”
- “You’re hurting me so bad daddy”
- “Please talk to me daddy!”
This is about when he started to calm down, so I began to sing to him and talked with him about calming down and trying to go to sleep. As I was there with him though, I couldn’t help but notice how closely this parallels some of my difficult times with our Heavenly Father when He seems to remain silent.
- I want something and I don’t even know why, I just assume it will make me feel better.
- I try to run to someone else who I think can make it better.
- I simply want to be released from Him, and allowed to run away.
- I think by God not giving me satisfaction in either of those things that he is hurting me.
- God remains silent, and I wonder why He won’t simply talk with me.
- The pain gets worse, and I question His goodness.
- I beg God to talk with me, because I want to know why.
- Finally, He speaks-silently, but firmly, that He loves me and it is for my good.
- I end up exhausting myself and finally resting in His embrace.
There are two things that really struck me last night. First, I never let my son out of my embrace, regardless of how badly he thrashed and the things he pined after. God, in the same way, never lets His children out of his embrace, even though it may seem unpleasant or non-existent. Secondly, my silence was for the good of my son, because my words would have only exacerbated his condition and prolonged the fit. I wonder if those times when God seems distant and silent are simply because He knows his immediate presence would only cause further rebellion in us.
All this to say that I am thankful that God is a perfect Father. Praise Him that he never lets go of His children, and praise Him that he indeed works all things for the good of those who are called according to His purpose, even when it seems as though it is not.
The love of our Heavenly Father never fails.
The Whole and Heart of the Gospel | Cardus
Posted by Todd Engstrom in missional, theology on September 23, 2009
I found this summary from Ray Pennings (HT: Kevin Young) of Reformed theological positions on cultural/social engagement to be particularly helpful in identifying the predominant understandings churches tend to have of gospel and culture. Below is the core of the article:
Neocalvinism focuses on the comprehensiveness of the gospel claim. “Every square inch” belongs to Christ, and the full effects of the cross—as fully conquering sin, including its effects in the groaning creation—are emphasized. “Grace restores nature,” and although we will have to wait for the new heaven and the new earth for this to be fully realized, worshiping the Lord Jesus as King today means acknowledging and living out of that kingship. That means challenging the presuppositions of secular reasoning and working carefully with both the books of creation and revelation.
The “two kingdom perspective” that has become associated with Westminster Theological Seminary in California brings at least two valuable insights to the conversation. Negatively, it warns against the hubris that sometimes can accompany an attempt to define “the” Christian position on various contemporary issues. There is inevitable ambiguity that characterizes Christian life in a fallen world. Positively, it brings a very strong ecclesiology into the conversation, emphasizing the calling of believers to focus on their place in the church and the bride of Christ, and to emphasize the transcendence of the gospel.
Neopuritans (which I prefer as a term to describe that group which Time magazine described as New Calvinists) focus on the sovereignty of God and the glory of God. In so far as one can discern a coherent political philosophy uniting the diverse group of writers commonly associated with this group, Albert Mohler’s focus on love as a unifying principle comes as close as any: “Love of neighbor grounded in our love for God requires us to work for good in the City of Man, even as we set as our first priority the preaching of the gospel, [which is] the only means of bringing citizens of the City of Man into citizenship of the city of God.” In practice, this perspective results in an approach that is more individualistic than corporate, focuses more extensively on responding to the needs of our neighbours through the diaconal ministry of the church, and relies on being an example, resisting cultural trends and intentionally working towards a Christian counter-culture.
This survey of perspectives would not be complete without acknowledging a fourth approach which, for lack of better term, I will label as “Old Calvinism.” (The variants of this argument almost inevitably suggest that there is something about the “old paths” that is being lost in the process of cultural engagement.) One example of this approach is John MacArthur, who has essentially come to the conclusion that engaging the city inevitably leads the church to worldliness and that when the church attempts to engage the culture, the culture is usually more effective at influencing the church. MacArthur has argued that Christian political activism has four results: it (1) denigrates the sovereignty of God over human history and events, (2) uses fleshly and selfish means to promote biblical values, (3) creates a false sense of morality, and (4) risks alienating unbelievers by viewing them as political enemies rather than a mission field. Promoting godly living and the fruits of the Spirit is a mission “far more good and profitable to men than any amount of social and political activism . . . [Christians] are content very much to let the worldly people deal with the worldly things of this world.”
I have certainly been wrestling through these issues myself, and have had some exposure to each theological stream. The difficulty in understanding this particular issue is that the arguments for each position are predominantly born out of extensions of philosophical theology or from an extension of applied biblical theology.
If I were to peg what position I most closely align with, it would probably be the “neopuritanism” camp at this point, which is less of a well-informed biblical position, and moreso based upon observations of ministry around me and the actual practice of my life. While I would agree completely with the neo-Calvinist perspective theologically, I practically tend to view the transformation of culture as a derivative of transformation of the individual through the power of the gospel. This certainly gives me some things to chew on however…
Care to chime in? I’d love some thoughts in a comment!
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